Forgiveness

The Lord has commanded us to forgive all men. In D&C 64:9-10 it says:

"Wherefore, I say unto you, that ye ought to forgive one another; for he that forgiveth not his brother his trespasses standeth condemned before the Lord; for there remaineth in him the greater sin.
"I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men."

When I have read this in the past, I have wondered, why does the Lord say He will forgive whom he will, but we have to forgive? In pondering this, I've come to the realization that this requirement has less to do with the Lord's forgiveness of others, and more to do with His forgiveness of our own sins. We are required to forgive others, not based on whether the Lord will forgive them or not, but simply because we have been forgiven.

I think the parable Christ gave about the king and a certain servant illustrates this well. In Matthew 18:23-35 Christ tells of a king who took account of his servants. One servant was brought before him who owed him ten thousand talents. The servant could not pay and the king commanded that he, his wife, his children, and all that he had be sold to pay the debt. The servant fell down and pleaded for the king to have patience with him and he would pay him all he owed. The king was moved with compassion and forgave the servant of the debt.

That same servant went out and found a fellowservant who owed him one hundred pence. He took him by the throat and demanded payment. The fellowservant fell down and pleaded for him to be patient and he would pay all that was owed. The servant would not, and had the fellowservant cast into prison until all was paid.

When the king found out what had happened, he called the servant to him and said, "'O thou wicked servant, I forgave thee all that debt, because thou desiredst me: Shouldest not thou also have had compassion on thy fellowservant, even as I had pity on thee?' And his lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors, till he should pay all that was due unto him."

Christ continues,"So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses."

We are commanded to forgive because we have been forgiven of all. Christ has paid the debt for each one of us, and the forgiveness He extends to us is greater than any forgiveness that may required of us towards our fellowmen.

At times, however, extending this forgiveness may seem impossible. Some of the hurts inflicted upon us may seem too great to ever be forgiven. When we hear about or experience ourselves some of the atrocities commited by men, the sin we are required to forgive may seem much greater than any we may have been forgiven of. Surely some of these offenders will not find the Lord's forgiveness. Why then does the Lord require it of us and how are we to forgive?

I recently read a book called "Left To Tell" about a woman in Rwanda who survived the genocide of 1994. It was an amazing tale of her horrific experience of being hunted by those who were her neighbors and friends the day before, who ultimately killed her parents and two of her brothers, leaving only her and an older brother, who was living outside the country, alive. To read about these horrendous acts against humanity, I could not imagine how one could forgive such things. And yet this woman, who was very close to God and her Savior throughout her ordeal, was able to forgive and prayed that her fellowcountrymen would also forgive. She saw that the violence inflicted upon her and the other Tutsis was a result of the Hutus' continued hatred and inability to forgive the wrongs inflicted upon them many years ago. She realized that both groups would have to forgive in order for either group to have peace. She also came to know that peace herself, even telling one man responsible for her mother's brutal death, "I forgive you."

Thinking of her experience I realized the importance of forgiveness, not for the offender, but for the offended. Through our forgiveness, we are given peace. We are able to feel the Spirit, which we cannot have if we harbor anger towards another. Thus it is for our benefit that we are required to forgive, and that we might not become the offender in our anger.

How do we forgive? The Lord will help us. When we lack the ability, but have the desire, the Lord will strengthen us and help us to truly forgive. He will touch our hearts and we will find it within ourselves to forgive. I remember a time recently when someone dear to me did something that hurt me to the core. I was more than hurt, I was angry. If I hadn't been touched by a book I had just read "The Hiding Place" by Corrie Ten Boom, I probably would've reacted in my anger, and instead of being the offended, likely would have become an offender through harsh words and a rash response. Instead I was prompted to go to my Heavenly Father and seek His help to learn to forgive. It was an amazing experience. One that changed my life and my relationship with the person forever. It taught me the power of forgiveness, both for the one required to forgive and the one being forgiven. Where my anger would surely have driven us further apart, forgiveness brought us closer together. The extension of one's love through their complete forgiveness is powerful. The Lord enters in and I believe both are edified.

There may be times when we must forgive someone who doesn't seek our forgiveness or doesn't care if they receive it. There may also be times when someone has no idea we've been offended. In times like these we can also be sure that the Lord will comfort us and help us to forgive. We can also be sure that our forgiveness will bring us peace and allow us to continue in the Spirit.

As with all the Lord's commands, the reason for the commandment is for our happiness and salvation. The requirement to forgive keeps us from committing the greater sin, ingratitude for the forgiveness we've so freely been given by the Lord, and keeps us from perpetuating the offenses through our anger. Thus we are kept from sin as we forgive. We are also happy and at peace and we will feel a greater measure of the Lord's love as we participate in His great act of forgiveness.

I love a poem by Carolyn Pearson called "The Forgiving":

Forgive?
Will I forgive,
You cry.
But
What is the gift,
The favor?

You would lift
Me from
My poor place
To stand beside
The Savior.
You would have
Me see with
His eyes,
Smile,
And with Him
Reach out to
Salve
A sorrowing heart--
For one small
Moment
To share in
Christ's great art.

Will I forgive,
You cry.
Oh,
May I--
May I?